By Anonymous Pilot
I’m one of those always smiling and most of the time goofing types. Nobody who knows me would ever see me as someone who’s struggling deeply. But the last year has been different. It’s harder to stay positive, harder to go out and do the things I enjoy, and all I can think of is my own negative self-talk. Jokes about preferring to not be around anymore are shifting on the spectrum from just amusing self-deprecating comedy to a comfortable standard.
I’m not flying because the company I work for sold the plane. I work for them as a mechanic instead but the “shoptalk” culture and toxic environment is killing me slowly. I’ve been applying to other flying opportunities since September with no luck.
My biggest fault is I never ask anyone for help, and rarely talk to my significant other or friends about how I feel. I’m not trying to draw attention to myself, or claim I have had a fraction of the real mental health problems so many pilots and soon to be pilots have struggled with...but I can see the troubles on the horizon and recognize so many things in my story that I’ve seen in others. If this keeps up for me, I don’t like how those other stories have ended.
How much longer can I do this?
What is Your Title?
Pilot
What is Your Favorite Quote?
“The true fruit of an apple tree is not an apple, but more apple trees”
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