Drive to Help

By Anonymous Pilot

Hi, I am a 20-year-old pilot based out of AK. I started flying when I was 16 years old, achieved my PPL at 17, and furthered my career at UND. This is my story.

I took my first discovery flight at 15 and instantly fell in love with aviation and flying. Learning to fly in Alaska was the most surreal experience of my life. 11 days short of my 17th birthday my best friend was killed in a car accident due to a drunk driver. I spent the morning of my birthday at his funeral and then later that same day took my test and achieved my PPL.

Every pilot and aviation professional told me to keep my head down and to continue to fly and pursue my dream at UND as a pilot. My dream came true and was admitted to UND and the first two semesters there were great until one day I passed out in class. After a year of testing, flying back and forth from AK to ND for a specialist, I was diagnosed with POTS and another heart condition. I went from a super active person and pilot to getting winded from walking up the stairs.

I was alone that whole year dealing with weekly ER visits and multiple tests, I had no family around. My depression got worse the year I tried to continue school but it got so bad I had to leave my dream school behind. The flight home with all of my things was filled with multiple emotions.

That week I got the news that the FAA was putting a hold on my medical, I packed up my life and said goodbye to great people and friends, leaving the school I had dreamed about for years in the past. I knew moving home was the best option for my mental and physical state but it was so hard to walk away from something I worked so hard for and that I was so proud of.

Within the first two months of being home, I sought mental health treatment which I deserved. With my medical on hold, I had nothing else to lose. I was terrified to start therapy and it took a few months before I allowed myself to even think about getting on medication. The FAA has scared so many pilots on this aspect.

Losing my medical and leaving my dream school was the biggest mental challenge I have ever faced. As a pilot, it’s all or nothing and we don't want to lose the gift of flying. In my case, I have come to peace with it, as much as any pilot could do. But a part of me is extremely grateful for my situation, if it wasn't for my heart condition, something I could not control, I wouldn’t be able to get the help I needed/deserved. Now, a year into my mental health journey, I am extremely proud of myself for asking for help after losing a big part of myself.

Now as a pilot who has no medical and my degree is in aviation safety and management, I have this drive to help other pilots and to hopefully start the conversation of mental health in pilots because the FAA is not on the right path to help their pilots and limiting us to almost nothing when it comes to mental health. I hope to see change but I want to start that conversation so no other pilot has to suffer like so many of us are.