By Anonymous Pilot
Hi Jenna. First of all, thank you for creating a safe space for people to share their stories safely and with out judgment. After reading many of the stories on Project Open Skies Inc., I realized that I relate to many people and I am not alone.
This will be a long story for it all to make sense, so please bear with me.
Ever since I was a kid, I always had two passions: aviation and architecture. Living in New York, I was always moved by the incredible architecture in Manhattan and I always loved going into the city for the sights there are to offer.
I also lived with my family in the suburbs of New York, about 20 minutes from JFK. I was that kid who would look up when a plane would fly over us for the 22L/22R approach into JFK (and I still am ). I was especially excited to see the heavies I saw myself flying one day. I would spend countless hours after school on FSX as a kid and would fly to my favorite places.
Fast forward to 2013/2014: my senior year in high school. I applied to aviation and architecture colleges in the New York area. I was accepted into two architecture schools and two aviation schools.
Eventually I had to make a decision as the decision deadline was fast approaching in early 2014. Since I was afraid of traveling a lot and being away from family if I were to choose a career in aviation, I accepted an offer to a 5 year bachelor’s program for architecture.
In the summer of 2017, I suffered a near drowning experience after being caught in a really strong rip current and I was so far out I could no longer see the shoreline. Eventually, the lifeguards got to me using a boat and I immediately passed out once they got to me.
After this incident I began suffering from panic attacks and anxiety. There were times that I didn’t understand how and why I was still alive. I began seeing a therapist in 2018, which definitely helped with coping with my reality. In 2019, I began taking a low dose of anti-anxiety meds. I felt that I only needed them for a few months so I stopped taking them around August of 2019.
After graduating from university, I began working at an architecture firm in Manhattan where I was working on restaurants, bars and adult entertainment venues. I worked with amazing coworkers and bosses and my experience was enjoyable.
Fast forward to September 2020, I was laid off due to lack of work during the Covid-19 pandemic. While sad, I took a few days for myself and processed my situation.
Now that I had some free time, I figured I finally work towards my PPL and give aviation a second chance. I was deferred by my AME because of scoliosis and anxiety, but I began flight training anyway. Flying never felt so liberating. It’s almost as if I have an overwhelming sense of calm when I am flying.
It is now January 25th and I am about 40 hours into training and ready to solo. Only problem-I still do not have a medical as I have been deferred 3 times as of January 23.
The AME doesn’t really care about scoliosis but still wants to know more about my anxiety (which is really well controlled compared to almost 4 years ago) and it is one of the most exhausting experiences I have had to deal with. I have submitted reports of the dose of medicine that I was on (5mg for about 6 months) and a personal statement about my near drowning experience.
Still not good enough for them.
I am absolutely terrified that if the AME sees that I was also diagnosed with “xx” by a psychiatrist that was associated with my near drowning experience four years ago, it will be the end of the line for me.
I am still holding onto hope that I will finally be able to obtain a third class medical or even a special issuance and be able to earn my PPL.
Thank you for reading and I wish all of you the best.
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