By Anonymous Pilot
Hi Jenna. This is an alternate account, because as much as I trust your story and am thankful, I still live in fear of my dreams being taken away from me.
I’ve always wanted to be a pilot. Three years ago in school I began to suffer from some insufferable anxiety of being in public. Skipping over three months of pain, sorrow, and hearbreak from losing my “normal,” I began to get better.
Ever since then, I’ve been on anxiety medicine and have slowly been getting off.
I started flight school mid-late 2020. I got almost 20 hours and then I was rejected my medical because of my anxiety history and current medicine. Hearing your AME tell you
“you should find a different hobby, interest, and career”
was one of the worst feelings of my life. I’ve operated normally without anxiety for almost two years now. But because of a history and my current medication, the FAA decided I can’t do what I’m passionate about. Since then, I’ve been heartbroken and pain ridden.
I’ve continued flying almost 30 hours into my PPL with zero solo time and my CFI is telling me we should slow down or stop. But it’s a confusing and scary path. Between losing motivation, and still trying to hold on, I’m scared.
Thankfully, I’m still in the fight. I have to send my records to the FAA after receiving my referral (deferral?) in the mail, but I’m scared this will just be the last straw for me to be out forever. I’m nearly done my transition off anxiety mediction and it truly did wonders for me at the time, but
I feel as if I don’t have anything to live for if this gets ripped from me.
I’m sorry for rambling, and I meet weekly with psychiatrists and therapists who have been helping me navigate this journey with the FAA, but I can’t help but be scared.
I just want to thank you for sharing your story. I cried reading it, because I know how it feels. Thank you for what you do, truly. It means a lot to me and I’m sure many others who are too afraid to talk about it <3.
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